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I turned on the radio on my way home, and the first thing I heard was a caller complaining about how violated he felt because his potential employer asked to log into his Facebook account. "They are disrupting the privacy of me and my friends," he said sadly, "I couldn't believe they were doing this." No sh*t. Apparently companies are doing this and people actually complied... not without complaints, but they forked over their personal information and private life because they needed the job.
My first reaction is to feel incredulous that in a country of freedom, some people have so little of it. I knew I would never put up that crap, and I felt sorry for people who have to. Then I began to understand the answer to a question I've been asking myself for a long time now: what's my biggest motivation?
This may sound strange, but it's not "art" by itself. I enjoy doing art at times but it can be equally frustrating, and I care a lot more about improving my personal craft than somehow helping the entire art world progress. It's not really money, either. Beyond paying bills and buying games, I don't have the mental maturity to fully appreciate money, and I do unpaid personal work all the time. Listening to the radio last night, I realized that my major motivation is freedom. It's not the freedom to harm others, or the freedom to get whatever I want. It's the freedom to stare at the interviewer who's asking for my facebook password with wide eyes, laugh, and then walk out. On a grander level, it's the freedom to choose what projects I want to work on, what kind of cultures I'd like to work in, and what kind of roles do I play.
By a stroke of incredible luck, I rolled the dice and ended up in an almost perfect scenario. The world is ever-changing, though. When the time to roll the dice comes again, my personal abilities will become my plus modifier, allowing me more choices in my action. I work for a lot of things, but freedom is the one long-term goal that keeps me going.
My first reaction is to feel incredulous that in a country of freedom, some people have so little of it. I knew I would never put up that crap, and I felt sorry for people who have to. Then I began to understand the answer to a question I've been asking myself for a long time now: what's my biggest motivation?
This may sound strange, but it's not "art" by itself. I enjoy doing art at times but it can be equally frustrating, and I care a lot more about improving my personal craft than somehow helping the entire art world progress. It's not really money, either. Beyond paying bills and buying games, I don't have the mental maturity to fully appreciate money, and I do unpaid personal work all the time. Listening to the radio last night, I realized that my major motivation is freedom. It's not the freedom to harm others, or the freedom to get whatever I want. It's the freedom to stare at the interviewer who's asking for my facebook password with wide eyes, laugh, and then walk out. On a grander level, it's the freedom to choose what projects I want to work on, what kind of cultures I'd like to work in, and what kind of roles do I play.
By a stroke of incredible luck, I rolled the dice and ended up in an almost perfect scenario. The world is ever-changing, though. When the time to roll the dice comes again, my personal abilities will become my plus modifier, allowing me more choices in my action. I work for a lot of things, but freedom is the one long-term goal that keeps me going.
Gamer for Life: Fight Cancer with Art
Like many other late 20/early 30's peeps, I did not yet have a solid sense of human mortality when I heard the terrible news. Kevin K Griffith, a friend, coworker, and fellow artist who was barely older than me was diagnosed with a rare and devastating form of cancer. It seemed almost improbable for someone who was so fit, happy, and full-of-life to suddenly be facing death. I read his and his wife's optimistic, touching, funny, and heart-breaking journals as they navigated through physical pains, emotional hurdles, medical procedures, and crazy insurance roadblocks. I put logic aside and believed that somehow things still might work out
Life-Changing Moment, 8 Years Ago
"So... how did you decide you wanted to get into the game industry?"
More than once have I faced this question. I usually smile and say or type something like: "Oh, it's only natural. I've always liked games. I grew up playing games, attempted to design several board games, and even got a group of high school friends at lunch to play a game so broken that everybody died within a few turns." These are all true, except for the "only natural" part. I had spent several long years attempting to be "practical", suppressing my fantasy of becoming a manga artist of sorts each time it dared to bubble up. The decision to give game industry a try
The New Decade
I vaguely remember feeling scared about how old I was getting when I was about 23. At that time, I was close to graduating as a graphic design major and had admitted my failure after trying very hard to convince myself that I liked it. I was at a loss of what to do next, a state of mind I did not and still do not deal well with. I was entirely frustrated, and felt unprepared to join the ranks of other "grown-ups" who are in the ripe age of 20s.
Seven years later, I can only look back in amazement at how everything ended up working out for the most part. I had so much fear and so much desire. I carried a chip on my shoulder so large that
Old Divorce Doc
I was going through some old docs and scanning them to send to a lawyer, and it suddenly hit me that it might not have been the brightest idea to procrastinate until my husband is away to do this by myself late at night.
It felt strange to finally put a concrete date on my dad's 2nd marriage (I never really wondered), but it was the agreement on the prior divorce certificate that broke my heart. It's a small booklet with a printed form, filled by an unknown clerk's tiny handwriting. The largest section of the small, simple form was the agreements for the divorce.
The year was 1992. China was, and in some sense still is, a male-dominated
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Keep your motivation. You sound like a well grounded person to me. When you get my age you will look back with satisfaction rather than regret.